Prison Tamales

Prison cooking is largely a matter of making do with what you can get your hands on. My son remembers these tamales as one of the best examples. The tortilla chips, seasonings, cheese, and other available ingredients came from the commissary. The cooked chicken or pork, onion, and bell pepper were stolen from the food-service kitchen. Even the plastic used to wrap the tamales was improvised—squares cut from a non-perforated trash liner stolen from the prison's Safety Department.

The cooking equipment was just as unconventional. The wrapped tamales were packed into an empty chip bag and heated in a small trash pail of hot water using an improvised electrical device prisoners called a “stinger.” None of that is a method I'd recommend duplicating at home, particularly heating food in plastic not intended for cooking or using an improvised electrical heater around water. But this is how my son remembers prisoners making them behind the walls—and, according to him, they tasted remarkably like tamales on the outside.

Recipe makes about a dozen tamales

Whatcha Need

• 1 large bag tortilla chips
• 1 packet Sazón seasoning
• Hot water, as needed
• 1–2 cups cooked chicken or pork, shredded
• ½ onion, stolen from the food service kitchen and chopped
• ½ bell pepper, chopped
• ½ block (8 ounces) cheddar cheese
• Creole seasoning, to taste
• Garlic powder, to taste
• Onion powder, to taste
• Hot sauce, to taste
• 1 bouillon cube, crushed

Whatcha Do

1. Crush the tortilla chips inside their bag until they become a fine powder.

2. Add the Sazón and enough hot water to make a thick dough. Knead the mixture inside the bag until it resembles masa.

3. Combine the shredded meat, onion, bell pepper, Creole seasoning, garlic powder, onion powder, hot sauce, and crushed bouillon. Season to taste with whatever else you have on hand.

4. Grate the cheddar using the metal top of a Comet can and mix it into the filling.

5. Spread a thin layer of masa onto each square of plastic. Spoon some filling down the center.

6. Use the wrapper to help shape it, roll the masa tightly around the filling to form a tamale and twist or fold the wrapper ends closed.

7. Continue until all the masa and filling have been used.

8. Cook the tamales until the masa is firm and the filling is thoroughly heated. Carefully unwrap and eat while hot.

Prison Method:

My son remembers the tamales being wrapped in squares cut from a clean, non-perforated plastic trash liner, packed tightly into an empty chip bag, and placed in a small trash pail of water heated with a homemade “stinger.” This describes how the tamales were made in prison; it is not a recommended home-cooking method.

Home Method:

To make these tamales safely at home, substitute 8-inch squares of parchment paper or dried corn husks, soaked in hot water until soft and pliable and patted dry, for the plastic trash-liner wrappers. Prepare and fill the tamales as directed above. Fold the ends of the parchment or corn husks and tie with kitchen twine. Arrange the tamales upright or slightly overlapping in a steamer basket over simmering water. Cover and steam until the masa is firm and the filling is heated through, about 30 to 45 minutes. Let rest for 5 to 10 minutes before unwrapping.